I have always considered myself to be a 'smart' person. I read a lot and have a distinct passion for writing myself. I have always written short stories with the hope of getting them published. But now, something new has dawned on me making me take off the rose-colored glasses that I have obviously been viewing my world in. While I still feel that I am a smart individual, I suspect that I may not be as smart as I used to think I was. It wasn't a cocky kind of smart that irritates everyone around you. You know, those Cliff Claven's from Cheer's that know a ton of crap about stuff that no one really cares about, like the real number of threads in 1000 count sheets. But an honest to goodness I know enough about enough to make me comfortable in any social situation, and of course, every teacher I ever had preached to me about applying myself because I was too smart to not be doing the work. I was a classic definition of what, sadly, has become the American teenager. I was lazy and bored with the work because just about everything they said I needed to know, I read in an encyclopedia one day when I was bored. I am smart. But I screwed up a lot in high school, and guess what, got too bored, and DID NOT FINISH HIGH SCHOOL!!! There is NOTHING that I regret more than this. Particularly because now, I am trying to get where I should have been, and I feel so STUPID because I am now 25 years old with two children. I cant believe how much I have forgotten! It's only been 7 years, so why I am stuck in a perpetual state of brain entropy? Like, complete mental breakdown people. Luckily, I have a great man behind me, telling me that I am as smart as I thought I was, and that I can do this. I know it's an old cliche, but if I knew then what I know now....... Hopefully I can push my children enough so that they wont have to feel as crappy as I do right now.

SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT

It has been bought to my attention that I wasn't very clear on a few things. I have always wanted to be a published author, and since this is the closest I'm probably going to come to it, I want NOTHING left to question or the imagination. This is only my 2nd blog posting, so if it's kinda raw, please forgive me. I am engaged to a great man who deserved a little bit more time to be acknowledged. We have had to endure 5 years of people looking at and judging us based on the fact that we are an interracial couple. I'd like to think that America has grown as a country enough to accept a mingling of the races, but apparently, it hasn't. Either way, I couldn't find a better fiancee or father. It hasn't always been roses and skittles and peaches and cream, but it's been great and fun and throughout our relationship, I've grown in many ways. He's helped me to be a better mother and person and it's his opinions that drive me to be more than the norm. Everybody needs a rock, and for me, it's him. And whoever said that chivalry is dead, doesn't know my sweetheart. He's always strong for his family, even when he doesn't have to be. I can talk to him and know that he wont judge me, and he pushes me to be the best that i can be. He's like my own personal army recruiter. Fred and Ginger. We mesh well together. Like two pieces of a very different puzzle that you'd never think would work, but somehow, magically, the pieces were made for each other. I wonder if he were to write a blog about me, what it would say. Always the stoic strong-man, could he say that he loved me more than the next breath that he took, the way I can. Or that his heart speeds up when i walk in a room, even now. Or that he still finds me beautiful at 7 am when my hair is all tied up and my pillows' stuck to my face from all the drool because I was dreaming of ice cream(which I LOVE and cannot have because I'm lactose intolerant). I have no idea what he would say, but i know that I could walk from Kentucky to Japan, and NEVER find someone better than him or more suited for me than he is. I know, I know, it's pretty sappy, huh? Well so what!! I'm a sap and I'm in love and between me and you, it wasn't the ice cream that made me drool(wink,wink) it was him. Anyway, I hope that any and everyone who I am lucky enough to have read this looks at their special someone through new eyes and treasures everything that they share together, even the bad. Cause I know i do!

AND SO IT BEGINS.........

Blogs are probably the coolest things I've seen do with the internet so far. Particularly for someone with 1,001 thoughts and opinions and a loud enough voice to shout them from the rooftops. I guess the only thing now is to actually make people want to read about my damn jumbled thoughts. Since this is my first blog, being a greenhorn and all, I figured the best way to start my blog was to introduce myself . I love reading and writing, so every aspect of my life has a novella quality to it. I consider myself a mixture of 3 different types of genere's. A cross between Stephen King, Danielle Steel and Charlie Brown(Peanuts) , with more King than Steel, and more Peanuts than King. I have a wonderful support system in a fiancee, the love of my life. Honestly, he drives me absolutely nuts, but I figure, Hey, I was already nuts before, so not much difference, huh? I was lucky enough to be given 2 guardian angels, little girls, who from here on out will be known as Sponge and Bob. They are hilarious, and amid all the drama and brain trauma that is my life, they are the coolest. Every good story has a matriarch, someone who is always there, tells you 'told you so' when you screw up and still helps you clean the messes. For me, that pillar of strength and humility is my mother. I can think of a ton of nicknames i could give her, but i doubt she would find them as humorous as I do, so I'll call her Ma. And of course, anything that's worth reading is going to have one or more plucky sidekicks. In my story, it's a little sister and brother, who we will call....Ren and Stimpy. These two are enemies in the worse sense, I mean, absolutely hate each other, but in everything that they do, they bring a sense of hilarity. So as you can see, we are quite a bunch, but hey, if it aint broke, dont fix it. And we work. Holidays kick butt and so do we. Between it all, our life proves to be eventful, full of laughs, some tears and anything else you can think of. Hopefully i can bring a smile to someone's face and a little knowledge that they aren't the only with a screwball family. ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!